|
Home - Collaborative
projects - Articles
Why
is change so hard?
|
Ruth was on the phone to her sister Sarah,
trying to get to the bottom of her recent run of poor health.
"I don't get it sis," she said.
"We were both always really healthy as kids and I've
been exercising and eating right the same as ever, I just
can't understand why I've been getting so sick the past couple
winters while you've been fine as usual..."
Sarah sighed to herself on the other end of the phone;
she had an idea of why her big sister had been feeling so
poorly recently. "I'm not sure Ruth, what does Tom think?"
she asked tentatively.
A slight tightness crept into Ruth's voice as she replied.
"Tom? What does it have to do with him?" Ruth exhaled
heavily. "Oh I don't want to bother him over a little
cold here and there, it isn't important. He's been working
really long hours at the office again, and you know how men
get." Sarah thought of her own husband Mike, and how
he left early for work two days a week so he could pick up
the kids from daycare. "Well..." she began.
"Besides," Ruth said briskly, interrupting her,
"Tom and I haven't been fighting as much lately, now
when we start to argue he just goes into another room or out
for a drink, and I have a cigarette to calm down. We haven't
argued in ages!
|
Physical
effects of social relationships
Health is defined not only as the absence of
disease and illness, but also as a state of complete physical,
mental, and social well-being. This definition of health incorporates
the importance of social support and close personal relationships
in a comprehensive overall concept of health and wellness.
In the past, most research on the connection
between relationships and health focused on the link between our
social relationships and our emotional and psychological health.
More recent studies have focused on the effect our relationships
have on our physical health, and they have found that a stressful
and unhappy relationship can have a negative impact on our physical
wellbeing. For example, research tells us that:
 An
unhappy marriage increases the chances of becoming ill by 35%
and can shorten one's life by an average of four years.
Children
growing up in unstable marriages tend to have higher levels of
stress causing them to be sick more often.
What
makes a relationship healthy?
Research on the connection between supportive
social relationships and physical health has found that certain
relationship characteristics help protect us against physical
disease and illness.
These characteristics include:
a
sense of closeness and connectedness,
solving
problems and making decisions as a team,
being able
to cope with a variety of situations together, and
the ability
to talk honestly and openly.
Relationship characteristics that have
been shown to increase the risk for disease and illness include:
anger
and hostility
constant
criticism and blame,
rigidity
and lack of flexibility
a need for
perfectionism in the relationship, and
lack of
closeness and intimacy.
Consequences of unhealthy relationships
A lack of social support and close relationships
in people's lives has been linked with physical conditions such
as heart disease, different forms of cancer, epilepsy, inflammatory
bowel disease, and arthritis. The quality of personal relationships
has also been linked to the physical health of the elderly, the
immune system, reproductive health/puberty, smoking and drinking
habits, as well as risk taking behavior.
Some examples of these correlations include:
Unmarried
people with cancer having an 8-17%
lower chance of survival because they receive less support
than married people.
Women
grieving the loss of a relationship through death or divorce having
higher
rates of arthritis.
Elderly
people who do not have social support and close relationships
with others being more
likely to have shorter lives.
Couples
that are more
negative and/or hostile while discussing marital problems have
more negative changes in their immune system up to 24 hours
after their discussion.
Children
who come from divorced
families being more likely to start smoking and males from
divorced families being more likely to be problem drinkers.
People
grieving the loss of a loved one having a greater
likelihood of using alcohol and tranquilizers.
Women
not in close contact with their extended families and with little
sense of family heritage being more likely to take sexual
risks that lead to contracting HIV/AIDS.
Health benefits of positive relationships
The role of personal relationships and social
support is to provide:
a
feeling of intimacy and an environment where people feel able
to express themselves openly without being self-conscious
a sense
of belonging
the opportunity
to care for others and be supported by others
affirmation
and reassurance of worth
assistance,
guidance and advice
access to
new contacts and different information
Based on these roles,
relationships are able to directly influence physical health
because they:
Are
sources of information. People in relationships provide information,
advice, services and new social contacts to one another. Individuals
with stronger/healthier social networks have access to more resources,
and are better able to effectively access and utilize health services.
As a result, these people obtain better medical care and have
better physical health.
Provide
people with a caring environment. Better functioning social networks/relationships
take better care of their members by supplying help and financial
support.
Establish
a group identity. Individuals in social networks feel peer pressure
to behave like other group members. As a result, groups of individuals
that have health-promoting behavior have members that are healthier.
Provide
a buffer to stress. People in healthy relationships have other
people to support and help them through stressful and difficult
situations.
Give a purpose
for living a healthy lifestyle. People in stable well functioning
relationships develop a larger meaning and purpose in life and
are more motivated to protect themselves against disease/illness/injury.
Positive relationships prevent disease & illness
Research on the connections between social support/relationships
and physical health has shown that healthy
relationships help to prevent physical disease and illness.
Other studies have found that social
support and healthy relationships can even help reverse the symptoms
of certain diseases/illness.
Based on this information, it is important that
individuals work hard to achieve and maintain healthy and happy
relationships with friends, family, co-workers, and their communities.
Educational programs designed to help people with marriage, parenting
and grand-parenting can further empower people by improving their
relationship skills, and teaching them how to better take care
of themselves and their loved ones. By improving the quality of
their social networks and personal relationships, individuals
will not only improve their psychological well-being and happiness,
but their physical health as well.
This article was originally
written for the Canadian Health Network by the B.C. Council for
Families. Revised by Health Nexus, May 2008.
|
